When I was a teenager I was cursed with acne. Not just your usual teen pimples I had the cystic type. I had a really bad self esteem because of it. If I had a really bad breakout I would stay home from school cause I was too embarrassed to be seen. My parents took me to a dermatologist to try and help. I was put on a really harsh medication. The medication made my skin breakout and it dried it out. I would try and cover my skin with makeup but it just looked bad because of the dry skin. I felt even worse so I stopped taking the medication. I was put on an antibiotic and it helped a little. I struggled daily with my self esteem. I wouldn't go anywhere without makeup on. When I got married I had to go off the antibiotic because of insurance so the day I got married I had a major breakout (stress). Everybody wants to look beautiful on their wedding day but I felt hideous. While on our honeymoon I was trying on some earrings and my husband wanted me to look into the mirror to see if I liked the earrings. I couldn't even look in the mirror to see the earrings because I didn't want to see my reflection. That was when I realized that I don't look in the mirror at all. In fact I try and avoid all mirrors. A friend at work was talking about her dermatologist one day and how great he was. I had seen other dermatologist since being married but I decided to try out this new dermatologist. He was able to clear my skin of new breakouts for a while but, then I had scares! I thought that once the zits stopped I would feel better but I didn't see that I had scares under all that acne. There is a surgery to help minimize the scaring but it cost about nine grand. That's a bit steep for us to pay. My last pregnancy has really messed with my hormones so now I am having breakouts again. At least now I can go places without feeling like piling on the make up but I am still self conscious about it. I know it is something that I will have to struggle with for the rest of my life.
