Monday, October 3, 2011

Not just a pimple

When I was a teenager I was cursed with acne.  Not just your usual teen pimples I had the cystic type.  I had a really bad self esteem because of it.  If I had a really bad breakout I would stay home from school cause I was too embarrassed to be seen.  My parents took me to a dermatologist to try and help.  I was put on a really harsh medication.  The medication made my skin breakout and it dried it out.  I would try and cover my skin with makeup but it just looked bad because of the dry skin.  I felt even worse so I stopped taking the medication.  I was put on an antibiotic and it helped a little.  I struggled daily with my self esteem.  I wouldn't go anywhere without makeup on. When I got married I had to go off the antibiotic because of insurance so the day I got married I had a major breakout (stress).  Everybody wants to look beautiful on their wedding day but I felt hideous.  While on our honeymoon I was trying on some earrings and my husband wanted me to look into the mirror to see if I liked the earrings.  I couldn't even look in the mirror to see the earrings because I didn't want to see my reflection.  That was when I realized that I don't look in the mirror at all.  In fact I try and avoid all mirrors.  A friend at work was talking about her dermatologist one day and how great he was.  I had seen other dermatologist since being married but I decided to try out this new dermatologist.  He was able to clear my skin of new breakouts for a while but, then I had scares!  I thought that once the zits stopped I would feel better but I didn't see that I had scares under all that acne.  There is a surgery  to help minimize the scaring but it cost about nine grand.  That's a bit steep for us to pay.  My last pregnancy has really messed with my hormones so now I am having breakouts again.  At least now I can go places without feeling like piling on the make up but I am still self conscious about it.  I know it is something that I will have to struggle with for the rest of my life.


  1. That sucks but to be honest I have always thought you were one of the prettiest girls around and just look at your girls to verify that. They didn't get that beautiful just from David. My issues have always been belly fat and I always think I am way bigger than I actually am. I avoid cameras! Probably a good thing I didn't have bad acne though since I am a picker and would have made a bigger mess out of it.

    On a different note, since you publish your blog on a white screen I thought I would tell you that the white print on black background is a killer on the eye balls when reading it once it is posted. Try gray print and see if that eases up the glare.

  2. You are really cute. I would never have thought you don't like to look in the mirror. I had trouble with acne when I was a stressed out primary president. Tried the antibiotics and everything. Luckily for me it went away when I was released. Not only did it make me self concious, it really hurt.