Saturday, December 3, 2011
A while ago my husband asked me if slavery was still in existence would I have a slave? I've thought about it and I would defiantly have one. It would be so nice to have someone to clean the house and watch the kids whenever for free! I don't think I would beat them or anything like some of the slaves were. In fact I would want them to be my friend and keep me company. Would you have a slave?
Thursday, November 24, 2011
I have so many things to be thankful for. I am so thankful for my kids. They are my trial but they are also my joy in life. Aleecia is so tender hearted and sweet. Mia makes me laugh everyday. And Eva is my little baby and always will be. I am thankful for my husband. He gave me my babies and he takes such good care of us. I am thankful for my parents. I am lucky that I have parents who protected me and loved me. With these people in my life I am truly blessed.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
Today I am thankful for clean carpets.
This past weekend we bought a carpet cleaner. We had not had our carpets cleaned since before Mia was born. And if you know Mia's birth story you know why it was so important we have our carpets cleaned. I wish I would have taken before and after pictures of our carpets because it has made such a huge difference.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Today I am thankful for Immunizations.
Today I have to take Eva in for her four month well baby check. I dread seeing her get her shots but I know it's for her own good. A little poke is much better then getting ill!
When I was younger my mom got the measles. I would have gotten them too if I hadn't been vaccinated. So, for that I am thankful for shots!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
With it being November I thought I would try and post at least weekly something I am thankful for.
Today I am thankful for my good eye sight.
Just the other day I was thinking to my self about all the things that I hate about my physical appearance (something that all women do), when I realized how negative I was being. I then tried to think of at least one thing I like about myself. I have good vision. I wake up in the morning and I can see perfectly. I don't have to worry about glasses or contacts. And for that I am thankful.
Monday, October 3, 2011
When I was a teenager I was cursed with acne. Not just your usual teen pimples I had the cystic type. I had a really bad self esteem because of it. If I had a really bad breakout I would stay home from school cause I was too embarrassed to be seen. My parents took me to a dermatologist to try and help. I was put on a really harsh medication. The medication made my skin breakout and it dried it out. I would try and cover my skin with makeup but it just looked bad because of the dry skin. I felt even worse so I stopped taking the medication. I was put on an antibiotic and it helped a little. I struggled daily with my self esteem. I wouldn't go anywhere without makeup on. When I got married I had to go off the antibiotic because of insurance so the day I got married I had a major breakout (stress). Everybody wants to look beautiful on their wedding day but I felt hideous. While on our honeymoon I was trying on some earrings and my husband wanted me to look into the mirror to see if I liked the earrings. I couldn't even look in the mirror to see the earrings because I didn't want to see my reflection. That was when I realized that I don't look in the mirror at all. In fact I try and avoid all mirrors. A friend at work was talking about her dermatologist one day and how great he was. I had seen other dermatologist since being married but I decided to try out this new dermatologist. He was able to clear my skin of new breakouts for a while but, then I had scares! I thought that once the zits stopped I would feel better but I didn't see that I had scares under all that acne. There is a surgery to help minimize the scaring but it cost about nine grand. That's a bit steep for us to pay. My last pregnancy has really messed with my hormones so now I am having breakouts again. At least now I can go places without feeling like piling on the make up but I am still self conscious about it. I know it is something that I will have to struggle with for the rest of my life.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I would even say I'd rather do the Dishes (most hated chore) then have sex! I used to have a really healthy libido but now not so much. I used to think I was the only one with this problem but now I am realizing that this is something that is very common. When I was younger I think I wore my poor husband out but now I seriously would be fine with no sex at all. My marriage has been most effected by this issue. At my six week follow-up I talked to my doctor about this problem. She reassured me that this is very common. Men can reproduce the rest of their lives but women only reproduce for a short time therefore they have a decrease in libido and men don't. She also brought up a good point that men don't see it as a problem that they have such a high libido so of course its the women with the problem. Anyway there is nothing I can do medically right now since I am breastfeeding but she gave me some books to read. I read them and they were okay. I realized that I am more concerned about him climaxing that I don't consider how I feel. I have learned that I am more willing to give it up when we plan ahead instead of crawling into bed and then being asked. I also learned that the more we do it the more I want it. My husband has been really great lately making sure I am getting what I need too. For now I think we have found a system that works for us. I still struggle with my libido but it isn't an issue in our marriage anymore.
Monday, August 29, 2011
After high school comes college. Well, that was the plan anyway. My dad used to work for UVSC so I got free tuition. Everything was set. I had an apartment where some friends lived, a car, books for school, and a full schedule. I made plans to visit my family every weekend. My first week of college was "fine". Friday I left early to go home for the weekend. I don't remember what I did that weekend but I remember leaving Sunday night at the latest. I made it to Salt Lake City and I-15 was closed at 600 N. I ended up getting lost. I was upset and drove back home. My dad was going to drive ahead of me and show me how to get around the construction but I was too worked up and never wanted to go back. I remember crying uncontrollably that I didn't ever want to go back. Thankfully I have patient parents and they let me stay. The next day we went to Weber and I registered for the semester. Everything in Orem got fixed and I started school at Weber. Everything was "fine" until one day I was on my way to school to take a test when I was involved in a bad car accident. My car was totaled and I missed my test. After the car accident I slept a lot and slowly stopped going to school. My mom noticed and so when I went into the doctors for something she brought up to the doctor that I was depressed. As soon as she said that I started balling. I took a little test and he put me on Zoloft. I was officially on "crazy meds". After a while I started feeling better. It was time I get my life back. I went to a tech school and got my x-ray license and started to work. As long as I was taking my meds I was good. Sometime after I had my first baby I decided to try and go off my meds. I was on a really harsh med that made me gain a ton of weight (like 30-35 pounds). I noticed that I wasn't so depressed but I started getting major anxiety and I started getting sick to my stomach. I went to a specialist for my stomach and after a few tests I was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. IBS is when your intestines spasm. Apparently serotonin helps control this and so back on the meds I went. My anxiety got better and so did my nausea. I now know that I will have to be on some kind of meds for this and I'm okay with that.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Before I had kids I thought pregnancy was a beautiful thing. Ya, I knew you could get "morning" sickness and stretch marks but that's all I thought could happen. I think more girls should know what can really happen in pregnancy. So, here is a list of things that happened to me.
- Sensitive nipples sometimes even painful. And they change to a darker color.
- Frequent urination. (not just when the baby is big and smashing your bladder)
- Nausea (all day and not just in the morning) and vomiting.
- Bleeding gums
- Dry hair and skin
- Tiredness (not just when your big and can't sleep cause you can't find a comfortable position)
- GAS (gas pain so bad that you think you may go into labor not to mention the urge to fart in a public place)
- Migraines (when I got migraines I would start to lose my peripheral vision) I only got migraines when I was pregnant.
- SWELLING! (with my first pregnancy I had "cankles" because I was so swollen.)
- Increase in vaginal discharge. (and with that comes the smell)
- Sharp abdominal pains from your abdominal muscles being ripped apart to make room for the baby.
- Charlie Horses. (I would get them in my feet.)
- Increased pulse (the first time I was pregnant I thought I was having heart problems)
- Sciatica pain (with the second pregnancy I actually needed physical therapy it was so bad)
- Hemorrhoids (with the added pressure and constipation)
- Shortness of breath
- Pelvic soreness
- Braxton Hicks pain (some were even more painful then labor)
- Weight gain
- Stretch marks (stretch marks in thighs and boobs not just the abdomen)
- Bleeding for at least a month (longest period of my life)
- Huge painful boobs (I thought I would be able to sleep on my stomach after the baby was born but I was wrong)
- Saggy boobs (whether you breastfeed or not)
- Hair loss (around 4 months postpartum) I really wish someone would have said something about this to me before it happened. It scared the crap out of me when it happened.
- Extra loose skin in the abdomen area. (I call it my apron cause it hangs over my pants like an apron)
- Decrease in libido (I could live the rest of my life without sex and would be perfectly happy.)
This is just a list of things that I remember about being pregnant. You tend to forget all the bad stuff after you hold that sweet little baby. Even though its hard there is nothing I wouldn't do for my sweet little baby girls.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Mia is in her terrible twos. The other day at Walmart she decided to throw a temper tantrum. She usually decides to have tantrums in the most public places (usually Walmart). She wanted to push the cart so being as patient as I could I let her push it. All of a sudden she got mad and threw herself on the ground and started crying. Usually when this happens I just wait for her to calm down. She wasn't calming down so I picked her up to go check out and that's when she scratched the hell out of my arm. I was ready to go crazy on her. I have seen kids have tantrums but this one was the worst. People were staring at me probably thinking I was a really bad mom. If only they knew what I really wanted to do! By the time we left the store she finally calmed down.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
I thought that being a stay at home mom my house would be nice and clean everyday. Not the case. I swear my house is more messy with me being home. I clean all day long and then when my husband gets home from work its a mess again. My favorite quote is "cleaning up after growing children is like shoveling snow while its still snowing". That's how I feel. I finish cleaning one room and turn around and there is another mess. I feel so embarrassed when someone comes over and my house is a mess. I feel much better when I go to someone else house and they try and apologize for the mess. No apologies necessary it makes me feel like I'm not the only one. So, if you come to my house and see the mess I'm not going to apologize I have kids and therefore my house will be an eternal mess. I will never be the type of mom that has an immaculate house that is just not who I am.
Monday, August 8, 2011
I am a mom of three of the most beautiful girls (and yes I am biased) and I have been on some kind of anti-depressant since I was eighteen. I created this blog so I can write down things people don't talk about. I think that if people would talk they would discover that there are more people having the same issues and they are normal. Having three girls of my own I want them to be able to read this and know they are not alone and they can ask me anything.